The Only Constant in Life is Change.
Join us as we conclude our 3-part series on emotional intelligence and teenagers. Today, we’re exploring adaptability.
In my first two blog posts, we talked about InTRApersonal skills, which help you understand your own emotions and communicate them to others, and InTERpersonal skills, which help you interact positively and work effectively with others.
What is Adaptability?
Adaptability refers to a person’s capacity to handle change. Just how important is this skill? Well, let’s just say the adage, “the only constant in life is change,” exists for a reason. What better way to prepare teenagers for life’s uncertainty than by helping them become more adaptable? Ironically, this ability to shift course is the fixed foundation upon which leaders build their lives. It’s integral to successfully managing challenges as they come.
In fact, adaptability can be measured using the aptly named Adaptability Scale. This scale looks at how readily an individual adapts to changes in their environment. It includes reality testing, flexibility and problem solving.
Things aren’t always as they seeM
Here is an insightful reality testing exercise to do with your children. It’s called Things Aren’t Always What They Seem.
Sit down with your children and ask them to think of a time when they jumped to a conclusion and said or did something they regret. Ask the following questions to help your children openly assess situations and adapt their opinions and responses to reflect the truth. This practice helps teens cultivate adaptability.
Trigger Event - What happened?
Reference - How did you incorrectly evaluate the situation?
Unhealthy Response - What did you do or say that you now regret?
Truth - What was really going on?
Healthy Response - What you can do or say better the next time?
Advice to Parents
Instead of making sure your children have absolutely everything they want, make sure they have everything they need. Help them differentiate between wants and needs and prioritize accordingly. When they don’t get something they want, ask them how it makes them feel and what they would like to do about it. Discuss alternatives, compromises and other ways of looking at a situation. A loss in one area may be a gain in another.
It is also important to walk the walk in your own life. After explaining to a teenager that they may have to adapt their expectations, complaining about not getting your way will absolutely send mixed signals. Demonstrate adaptability in your own life so your teen will have a positive example to emulate.
Advice to Teens
Life is going to throw you curve balls. No one gets what they want all the time. One missed opportunity may open an unexplored avenue that turns out to be even better. Sometimes the best opportunities, changes and relationships for us happen by accident.
“By remaining adaptable, we don’t just become more comfortable as life shifts; we remain open to possibilities we didn’t even know existed.”
Remember, we are all still works in progress. By understanding the reality of our circumstances, remaining flexible and solving problems creatively, we can all adapt to the changes that inevitably come our way. Change is a good thing, if we only adapt to it!
By Shawna Kovacs
Shawna is the mother of a fabulous teenage girl who is also an Ambassador Leaders alumna. Shawna is Founder and Partner of Leaders Required – a training firm focused on Leadership Development with an emphasis on Emotional Intelligence.