Building interpersonal skills, one compliment at a time.
Join us as we continue a 3-part series on emotional intelligence and teenagers. Today, we’re exploring interpersonal skills.
Last week, we talked about inTRApersonal skills, the part of emotional intelligence (or EQ) that helps you understand your own emotions and communicate those emotions to others. Now let’s focus on inTERpersonal skills.
What are Interpersonal Skills?
What’s the difference between the ‘TRA’ and the ‘TER,’ you ask? Interpersonal skills are defined as the set of abilities that enable someone to interact positively and work effectively with others. These skills focus outward rather than inward.
Interpersonal skills include empathy, social responsibility and interpersonal relationship building. All are important, but today we’ll dive more into interpersonal relationships.
“When it comes to developing...interpersonal talents and skills in a child, no institution can ever compare with...the home’s potential for positive influence.
~Stephen Covey”
Interpersonal relationships are built on the strong connections between individuals who share common interests or goals. Mutual trust, loyalty, respect and commitment are key ingredients for thriving interpersonal relationships. Teens form interpersonal relationships with:
Teammates or fellow club members
Their family members and relatives
Their friends and peers
Their teachers, coaches and advisers
Think about all of the vital relationships formed during the teenage years and the lifelong effects these relationships can have. No matter the circumstances, interpersonal relationships are frequently difficult to navigate and keep sincere, but that’s especially true today as an increasing amount of interpersonal communication takes place electronically. For all these reasons, it is essential for families to help their children develop the skills necessary to build healthy interpersonal relationships.
FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTs
So what can you do as a parent? Try this fun exercise that encourages your child to practice communicating sincere compliments to the people in their social circles. The exercise is called Fishing for Compliments. After all, everyone needs a compliment once in a while.
Have your child write down the names of a handful of people in their social circles, choosing a mix of family, friends, teammates, teachers and coaches.
Then have them write a specific, sincere compliment next to each person’s name and share what they wrote with you.
Explore your child’s thinking and challenge their sincerity if necessary. The goal of this exercise is for your child to feel so confident about what they wrote that they actually give those individuals the compliments in person.
This exercise is often the start of a great conversation and can help your child develop empathy and build relationships based on respect and sincere gratitude.
Remember, we’re all still works in progress. Learning to nurture good relationships is not easy, but if you are honest, communicative, sincere and kind, you can’t go wrong!
By Shawna Kovacs
Shawna is the mother of a fabulous teenage girl who is also an Ambassador Leaders alumna. Shawna is Founder and Partner of Leaders Required – a training firm focused on Leadership Development with an emphasis on Emotional Intelligence.