Sunjay asks: Is it fair or is it equal?
Over the years I’ve had this discussion with many people in many forms. There is an important distinction between being treated fairly and being treated equally. Personally, I would always rather be treated fairly. In fact, I don’t think being treated equally is fair. Try and get your head around that one!
So, what’s the difference? Being treated equally means everyone always gets the same thing. If there are eight cookies and four family members, each person gets two cookies, right? That's equal. Each person gets an equal number of cookies. But here’s my question: Is that fair? Maybe sometimes, but very often it isn't.
Think about it. If we don’t account for individual differences, the equal solution may be unfair. Let’s go a little deeper with the cookie analogy. Imagine the four family members are a mom, a dad, a brother and a sister. And let’s suppose the sister is only three months old. Is it really fair to give her two cookies? Keep in mind, most three months old babies don’t eat solid food; they don’t even have teeth! The baby sister won’t be eating those two cookies. So, is it fair to have two cookies go to waste?
Or, what if the brother has been acting out. Why should he be rewarded with cookies for his poor behavior? Or, what if the father really, really, really loves cookies and is willing to trade his share of ice cream (which happens to be mom’s favorite) for her two cookies?
When we account for each person’s differences, it’s easy to see that being fair is not the same as being equal.
Here's another example. You always arrive to class on time, except one day you’re late. Should you be treated the same for your one tardy as your classmate who arrives late to class everyday? You both did the same thing, showed up late on a particular day. But who you are, your background and your behavior make you unique and can make it unfair to be treated equally.
Don’t strive for equality; strive for something better. Strive for fairness.
It was best explained to me this way. You are playing a card game that requires five cards. The fair way to do it would be to give each person five cards from the same deck. The equal way to do it would be to give everyone the exact same five cards, and that makes for a pretty boring game.
So, what do you do if you don’t like the five unique cards you were dealt? That’s easy, you learn to adjust, or you change the game!
By Sunjay Nath
Sunjay travels the world sharing insights on leadership. He is the author of several books including the best seller, The ABCs of Student Leadership and a frequent speaker at our Leadership Summits. To order his book or learn how to have him as a guest speaker, please visit www.SunjayNath.com.