The power of shared purpose
Welcome to our Followership blog series. As an organization, we have always focused on what it takes to be a great leader, but even great leaders must sometimes follow. That’s why we’re excited to hear from Sharna Fabiano—a coach, educator and followership expert—about what it takes to succeed as a follower and how mastering followership skills can help you flourish in team settings.
We understand the importance of great leadership, but what about its counterpart, great followership? The concept of following is usually dismissed as passive, but in fact, it merely represents a type of influence with which we’re less familiar. Rather than moving from the top down, as leadership often does, followership is supportive, moving from the bottom up. Think of following as the yin to leading’s yang. It’s grounded in responsive communication skills like attentive listening, thoughtful engagement and openness.
Followership skills fall into three categories, each naturally stemming from the one that came before: connection, collaboration and creation.
Skills that establish a clear connection with others help us develop the rapport necessary to collaborate with others. In turn, once we can collaborate effectively, we can bring more of our own creativity into the mix. Just as we learn to walk before we run, and run before we fly, powerful relationships between leaders and followers require a strong foundation to reach their full potential.
One way to make anything you do in a team more meaningful—not to mention more productive—is to strengthen your relationships with your teammates. Connection means feeling invested in a shared purpose. We want to know that the people we count on can be trusted to pursue the same goals as we are. It’s not enough to write a team motto, a club mission statement or a school slogan. We have to feel connected to our team in order for it to matter. So, how do we do that?
Connection skill 1 - Attention
Granting someone your full attention is a powerful gift. Focusing on another person with curiosity and positive intent can uplift, center and support that person; to give this kind of attention to someone is to say, “you are valuable and worthy.” Giving supportive attention is one way to connect with others.
Even if you think you’re a good listener, the strategies below can strengthen your relationship with others. Try them out at the start of a team meeting or in situations where you know you have a tendency to be distracted.
Tune In
Notice the posture, expression and energy level of whoever is speaking. Does the person seem tired, relaxed, hurried, happy or something else? Taking the time to acknowledge all the ways the person in front of you is communicating (verbally and non-verbally) allows you to hear and understand them more fully, to contextualize their words and to choose an attitude you can use to support them.
Body/Breath/Mind
Bring your attention to your body and shift your position if necessary to feel comfortable. Then bring your attention to your breath, noticing your own inhale and exhale for three cycles. Finally, bring your attention to your mind and choose to remain open-minded to the ideas of the person you are listening to.
Connection Skill 2 - Engagement
Skillful engagement might take the form of a single, well-placed question or observation. When followers in a team thoughtfully add to the conversation, it serves the interests of the whole group by helping to clarify, correct and fine-tune whatever the team’s goal or shared purpose is.
Even if you feel comfortable expressing yourself in groups, these strategies can improve your ability to add value with what you say or don’t say. Try them out in situations where you know you have a tendency either to hold back or talk too much.
Open-ended Questions
When you feel an idea isn’t fully formed, or that you don’t totally understand, asking for more detail in an open-ended way can help the whole group. Often, people have your same question, but don’t ask for fear of looking silly. Your question might also invite more exploration around the idea. Try asking, “Could you speak more about X idea?”
Think First
When we speak without thinking first, we have a tendency to re-state the same thing different ways multiple times. Before you speak up, take a moment to formulate your thought in your mind, then just say it once and let it stand.
Connection skill 3 - Openness
Openness can feel like something we either have or don’t have, like an internal on-off setting. We’re open or we’re closed. We associate openness and trust with our friends or teammates we get along with well. With everyone else, we close the door. Instead, think of openness as something you deliberately choose. Choosing to be open with others encourages them to be worthy of our trust.
Choosing to trust requires us to mentally pause our defense mechanisms and to deliberately create feelings of safety. These strategies can feel awkward at first, but they get easier with practice.
Internal Narrative
Most of us have running commentaries about every person we meet and every situation we are in. Try noticing your own thoughts about a given person or situation, and you may be surprised. When we have difficulty staying open, it’s likely we’re making assumptions.
For example, we might think, “She doesn’t like me,” or “People will stab you in the back if you let them,” or “He’s on a power trip.” Take charge and edit those stories! When you stop making assumptions and start telling yourself more positive stories, you’ll find it easier to trust others.
Small Talk
Small talk is often dismissed as trivial, but it can be a great way to share a little bit about yourself and get to know more about others as well. Demonstrating interest in another person establishes and reinforces familiarity. And familiarity encourages our nervous system to relax and trust those around us.
Small talk can also lay the groundwork for tougher conversations. When you’ve already established rapport with someone, it increases the likelihood that your work together will be authentic and collaborative.
By Sharna Fabiano
Sharna is an artist, educator and certified coach who trains teams and organizations on leadership and followership. She has also established two dance schools and directed her own performing company. She incorporates her insights from the world of social dance into her work on the leadership/followership dynamic. Learn more by visiting her website.